Lonely? Stop Looking for a New Dating App and Do this Instead


Tinder. Bumble. Plenty of Fish. Match.com. eHarmony. With what seems like a limitless number of dating apps and websites available, you would think that finding your soulmate would be easier than ever. Gone are the days of being limited to just your neighborhood or small town. The single men of the world are literally at your fingertips. Mr. Right might only be one more swipe away…

And yet there are still a lot of single women out there. Which is totally fine…IF you’re content being on your own through life. But I think it’s safe to say that people on dating sites aren’t exactly satisfied with their solo lifestyle. In fact, single people aren’t simply dissatisfied with their relationship status, they’re feeling downright lonely. According to a survey done by Match.com, 46.4% of people—half of them women—admitted that they feel lonely when it comes to dating and just the whole search for love. That’s almost half of the survey participants!

How Do You Feel About Being Single?

Are you a single woman who—regardless of how many dates you go on—feels like the lonely void in your life will never be filled?

Is being single starting to feel like a burden even when everyone around you says that you’re “lucky” to be free from commitment and the demands of a relationship?

Are you starting to doubt that you’re the “great catch” that everyone says you are?

Do you long for not just soulmate love, but also deep connections with other like-minded women?

You’re not alone sister!

Loneliness is becoming more common in today’s world. Despite all the ways we’re able to communicate with others online and on our phones, people aren’t necessarily feeling more connected. Indeed researchers are calling loneliness an epidemic and have linked it to everything from an increased risk of developing certain health conditions to a decreased life expectancy. Yikes! Research aside, Johnny and I hear this sentiment about being lonely—really lonely—echoed year after year by the women that we work with. And it’s a cry that seems to be getting louder. So, maybe it’s time to give something else a go. Instead of downloading yet another dating app, try this instead.

Get Out Into the World!

So you’re a single, warm-hearted and spiritual woman who longs to be with her sweetheart. Maybe you’re new to actively searching for soulmate love or perhaps you’ve been on the path for a while. Either way, we know how easy it can be to slip into a habit of sitting at home and just reading books or blogs, or “attending” live webinars or streaming an event that’s happening on the other side of the country. Modern technology is pretty amazing in that way and we love how it has allowed us to work with women all over the world. That being said, Johnny and I know from experience that nothing beats the energy and excitement of showing up to an event in person.

Why is getting out into the world and meeting people to learn in person just not the same as doing an online learning experience?

Because no technology can replace the warmth that comes from connecting to people face to face. Think about it. How does texting or even talking on the phone with one of your girlfriends compare to sitting down to chat with her over coffee or a good glass of wine? Sure, phone and video calls are better than nothing. But that cozy feeling of sharing a space and conversation with other like-minded people? That really can’t be replaced by the latest app.

Learning Is More Than Just Information

Once a year we host a Love Breakthrough Weekend to give women the opportunity to work with us live and in person. This program is so transformative that women fly in from all over the world to be there. The women who attend have the chance to experience their very own love breakthroughs and powerful shifts in their beliefs about what’s possible for them in love. They often sign up because they are ready to be with their soulmate—and they leave not only feeling empowered but also having developed friendships with other loving, like-minded women. Women who ‘get them’ and who want to support them on their journey. And yes, it really is every bit as amazing as it sounds!

As we have discovered over the years, the most effective learning happens in a community environment. Not only does socializing at live events boost feel-good hormones in the body, it leads to breakthroughs faster than online and distance learning. You get to actively flex your ‘meeting people’ muscle which is essential if you want to use it at some point to meet your soulmate. Remember, at some point to meet your mate you’re gonna have to date, and meet guys in real life. If all you’ve done is practice being alone…you’ll just feel more awkward and out of touch. Meeting new people as you learn something new is a dynamic one-two punch that really makes a difference!

Year after year Johnny and I watch as the women who attend our Love Breakthrough Weekend become brighter and more magnetic expressions of themselves. Which is why we don’t stream or record our live experiences. The only way to get in on this fun, fulfilling, and totally transformative weekend is to be there. In person.

Become Magnetic to Great Men

When you put down your phone and put in the effort to show up and learn alongside other warm and welcoming women, you’re going to stop feeling lonely pretty quickly. And you know what that means, right? It means you’ll become more magnetic to great men. That’s right, getting out of your house, up off the couch really IS an important step to attracting soulmate love. It’s how you amp up your inner man magnet and start to manifest the love and life that you’re longing for. The opposite of action is sitting at home swiping through Tinder, Bumble, or Match.com and wishing that the right guy for you magically shows up on your doorstep. Which would be nice…but it’s a gamble that isn’t worth risking your future of happiness for. Instead, get out into the world and start connecting with great people in person. If you’re showing up in the right environment, with the right frame of mind, you’ll be blown away by how fast those connections start to build. Because here’s the thing: people who get outside and make an effort to reach out to other people are literally dishing out good vibes. And who doesn’t want in on that?

Even if you’re shy or a bit of an introvert, you’ll find your feelings of loneliness start to slip away when you spend time just being around other people. Although you’ll probably find that the more time you spend hanging around others, the less hesitant you feel to reach out and connect on a deeper level. This directly affects your ability to connect to men. Communication and the practice of connecting to others is a muscle that you can strengthen in every social situation, not just when you’re on dates. So the more time you spend face to face with other people, the better you’ll be at attracting your sweetheart to you when you do meet him.

What Are You Waiting For?

Get outside and get rid of those lonely feelings! Remember, your soulmate might already be out in the world looking for you. So don’t waste any more time thinking that there’s something wrong with you or that “online dating just isn’t your thing.” Online dating has its place and so does offline connecting. Now get out there and connect! And if you’re not too busy sharing your awesome self with the world we’d love to hear from you too. Tell us what do you do when you’re feeling lonely; who do you reach out to and/or where you go to connect to people. And we hope to see your beautiful face in-person at our upcoming Love Breakthrough Weekend!

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  1. Jaye said: April 3, 2017 at 8:19 am

    When I am feeling lonely, sad or just in need of a “shot in the arm ” to feel better I walk along the beach and when I have time, spend 10 or 15 minutes in meditation at the shore with the sound of the waves in the background. It truly re- centers me.
    I am now enrolled in the Quantum Leap to Love courses and feel so energized by it. Thank you Johnny and Lara for your help and guidance. Everything you have said has hit a nerve within me, and I feel like I am making great strides forward towards the life of my dreams. I only wish I had learned all this good stuff sooner.

    • Anna -Community Support said: January 19, 2018 at 2:08 pm

      Jaye, oh my gosh a walk along the beach sounds absolutely delightful right now! and what a great way to relax!
      We are so happy to read that you are finding our courses to be energizing! It’s just amazing reading your words on how this course is helping you!

  2. Emilie said: March 29, 2017 at 8:53 am

    Dear Johnny and Lara,
    I am in your Quantum Leap class as a 70 year old. Age does present its problems, but I’m here w/ you to learn, identify and release old patterns, get to know the inner vast “me” to embody so I can show up in life accordingly, not just for love relationships but in the relationship w/ myself, and with others. How I deal w/ loneliness is questioning my negative thoughts via The Work by Byron Katie(have so for 11 years(IT WORKS!), join appropriate groups, even a “death and dying group” that looks at issues surrounding our passing, other women’s groups, classes in person, surround myself w/ like minded people, and especially helpful is keeping my h ealth strong and mind clear. I try to do one hour of meditation every morning. I don’t know how to post on class site, so I am posting my feedback here. The ancestral conditioning first class was amazing. I listened twice and still processing it in midst of inheritance battle. What I’m learning in class I’m living in different areas of my life. It is unfolding. I am so very grateful. Many bows to you and your work together.

    Aloha from Maui,
    Emi Azeka

    • Dr. Lara Fernandez said: March 31, 2017 at 3:41 pm

      Thank you so much Emi, for your sweet words, and congratulations on going through this journey we call life with a student mindset, always looking to grow and learn. Even at 70 years young.

  3. Susan said: March 29, 2017 at 8:10 am

    I enjoyed this article,

    When I’m feeling lonely, I like to go out for a bike ride. I feel like I can do anything whilst I’m on my bike and I enjoy seeing those hot guys who are very fit and training for marathon breeze by, I get a lot of hellos from them it makes me feel good inside.

    • Dr. Lara Fernandez said: March 31, 2017 at 3:42 pm

      That’s great Susan! Thank you for sharing that 🙂

  4. Georgina said: March 28, 2017 at 8:06 pm

    Are you ever coming to Australia 😊

    • Dr. Lara Fernandez said: March 31, 2017 at 3:44 pm

      Lol, thank you, Georgina, we’ll think about it, but we’d love to have you in one of our events in California! 😉

  5. Julie said: March 28, 2017 at 7:58 pm

    Love reading your articles, Lara. You are such a great writer. They are timeless reminders, no matter where we are at in the process. Thank you! K&W, Julie

    • Dr. Lara Fernandez said: March 31, 2017 at 3:44 pm

      Thanks, Julie! Love

  6. Mildred said: March 28, 2017 at 6:54 pm

    Very interesting——–makes sense to me-

    • Dr. Lara Fernandez said: March 31, 2017 at 3:45 pm

      Thanks, Mildred!

  7. Michelle said: March 28, 2017 at 6:30 pm

    I wish I could attend…will have to wait until next year. I just started a new job and don’t get to take any days off until after 90 days!!

    • Anna -Community Support said: January 19, 2018 at 2:10 pm

      Ah, Michelle 🙁 we so wish you could attend as well! We totally understand the limitations that come with a new job though, but congratulations on this new opportunity and we hope you can join us next year! 🙂