Video Q&A Thursday: Speed Dating and Soulmate Love


Lara here and it’s Video Q&A Thursday!

Have you been wondering what’s the deal with Speed Dating and what effect it has in finding your soulmate?

We are bringing you back our Q&A video wherein in I share my insights about Speed Dating and Soulmate Love.

Remember, finding your soulmate is really all about YOU. Your mindset, your thoughts, your feelings and YOUR ACTIONS. ♥

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  1. Monica said: February 9, 2017 at 11:31 am

    Well, hmmm. I am brand new to your site; this is the very first video I have watched, and I find myself disappointed. Not because of your obvious distaste for speed dating, but for not commending Bethany on taking action, getting outside of her comfort zone, and going to an event where she has an opportunity to meet new people (regardless of the outcome). Whether you agree with the idea of speed dating, it is indeed another tool people can use to meet people! I wonder if you have ever actually gone speed dating? I did, almost a year ago…..while I did not meet anyone with long-term potential, I had 3 dates with perfectly nice guys, learned about them, and definitely learned about myself in the process. I went into the event with an open mind, and truly enjoyed myself (and I’m thinking of doing it again). To say it’s only superficial is being judgmental, in my opinion. The event I attended was very well organized, with an even number of men to women. I learned so much about 12 different men in a matter of a few minutes each – I found it interesting and fun! Oh and by the way, my girlfriend who tagged along with me met a really wonderful man there, and they have been dating almost a year…….I haven’t seen her this happy and connected with someone in a very long time.

    Just remember that everything is possible! xoxo

  2. PR said: June 13, 2012 at 4:29 am

    Dr. Lara,

    I agree with what you say, and I have a slightly different perspective. If you’ve done the inner work and are able to be fully present wherever you are, should it matter whether you meet your soul mate in a speed dating event or in a park or grocery store? I have been to 1 speed dating event, and I believe it is frenzied only if you approach it that way. I was able to be calm, mindful, open, present and get a sense of the person in those 8 minutes, and have a good time irrespective of the outcome! Even sway to the music when I had to wait as the number of women was more than number of men! When you don’t judge people, you can very quickly zero in on their essence, or at least find out one core thing about them. That said, I don’t know if I would recommend speed dating to everyone– it depends on where you’re coming from. Would I go to another? Maybe not, given the way it was organized and the approach people have to it and the inherent stress that ‘speed’ suggests.

    I have had soul encounters with a few people in my life.. and I have found that sometimes all it takes is a look, a touch, a sentence, a thought, a MOMENT to trigger that soul recognition. It wouldn’t matter if that was at a speed dating event or not! So coming from that place, I would not categorically shut out anything to finding a soul mate– it doesn’t matter where you are, it matters who you are being.

    Imagine if you got the same 8 minutes to get to know a person in a meditation circle. Same time frame, different mindset and outcome.

    Would love to hear your thoughts on that.


  3. Jeannette said: June 1, 2012 at 2:24 pm

    Good Morning Dr. Lara!

    I’ve tried speed dating three times. The first time it was cancelled, I changed my plans and ran into someone I’ve had an interest in for quite some time. The second time I tried speed dating it was so unorganized that I the only thing I was met with was a mob of Women who almost knocked me down just to get a chance to find a man. The third time, I was matched with a few Men and all but one didn’t take the time to get to know me. The one who did only wanted to text or email so I let him go. After the 3rd try, I realized that speed dating is NOT for me. The Guy that I mentioned earlier has started to come around to get to know me better. He’s been attracted to me all this time but was not ready to make his move. Next week we have plans to see one another when he returns from his Medical Mission Trip. I’m realizing that timing is key.

  4. Marta S. said: June 1, 2012 at 12:50 am

    I have come to the place where I need to move/relocate, which is not an issue for me. What I need to know is how to find a friendly community where I can live peacefully as well as attract my soul mate. Where I am now is not a good place for me..long story -too small, noisy{near small airport/ loud neighbors},as well as other factors..I know I’d be happiest near a beach community, but I don’t want to end up in the same kind of situation that I’m in now-alone and frustrated. And it doesn’t have to be in the continental USA, either. Travel is one of the things I enjoy, but have not been able to pursue recently. Noisy cities and too small living spaces are, hopefully, going to be part of my past in the not too distant future.

    Thank You! Marta S.

  5. Barbara Rosenthal said: May 31, 2012 at 10:54 pm

    Hi Lara,

    I love everything, repeat EVERYTHING, about you and Johnny and your programs!

    You talk about getting inside and doing the internal work. I am a very impatient person. Am I doing the internal work? I am constantly wondering what the entire scope of the work is.

    I am doing my workbook, am planning on attending all the workshops, am trying to clean up my diet (yet not criticize my body), incorporate more exercise into my life–and in more natural ways such as hiking and swimming, just got my first full-time job since my 27-year old was born (who-hoo!), am trying to improve the atmosphere of my new temporary home, wearing clothes I like, trying to find a spiritual home (not easy–believe me). I just bought Arielle Ford’s book today.

    Is this the path you are talking about? Is there something missing?

    By impatient, I can’t underline that enough!

    Thank you!!!


  6. Carol said: May 31, 2012 at 8:56 pm

    Hi Dr. Lara,

    I agree that speed dating is not the way to go and that hanging out in bars and getting out without having done the inner work will never be successful. But I still think getting an answer to Bethany’s question would be helpful.

    If you take out the scenario she presents and assume that you are instead open to finding your mate and have done the inner work, are there questions that you can ask that can help you to see clearly and distinguish some guy who approaches you from your mate?

  7. Sue said: May 31, 2012 at 5:28 pm

    Thanks for your videos – great advice – remove internal blocks. Wish I had had the language for that 30 years ago! I live in the Bay Area and there are so many opportunities here for creativity around enriching one’s emotional vocabulary and working through blocks. I must say, however, with all the polyamory it seems difficult to settle into a relationship if one is monogamous….

  8. Laura Venecia Rodriguez said: May 31, 2012 at 3:49 pm

    Oh, I forgot to mention, Dr. Lara, I LOVE seeing you and hear you speak by video! This is the first time I have sat and watched you. I have been receiving the emails and just skimming them. Thank you for your work. You are a most appealing presenter – your inner and outer intelligence and beauty shine!

  9. Laura Venecia Rodriguez said: May 31, 2012 at 3:47 pm

    Wow-Dr. Lara! This is so right on! I attended a speed dating event about 6 years ago and found it most distasteful. Same thing with singles events. I retried a few months ago and had a most unsatisfactory experience. It’s back to basics for me! And, yes, I agree- it’s about turning inward and getting clarity.

    My question for you – is it more difficult for people 50 and over (I am 57, active and youthful) to find their “soulmate” even if they turn within and get clarity. It just seems that the pool of available partners is much smaller in the 50s and over than in earlier decades!

  10. Caroline said: May 31, 2012 at 3:19 pm

    I totally agree with you with regard to speed dating – it’s superficial and not a way to meet your SM. At the same time, I don’t think you can sit at home and meet ‘the one’ so choosing to get out and do things you enjoy is still important.

  11. Michelle Wood said: May 31, 2012 at 2:21 pm

    Dr. Lara, I whole-heartedly agree with you about speed dating and the importance of doing inner work. It saddens me that so much of our society is more concerned on what is external instead of internal and how we can get in these terrible relationships that were based on something shallow in the first place. Then be so upset that it didn’t work out. Keep up the good work!