Getting Off the Rollercoaster Ride of Dating in Your 30’s and 40’s (Part 2 of 2)

If you haven’t already read part 1 of this 2-part series, go check it out HERE and then come back to read part 2.

Ready to get off the rollercoaster of dating ASAP? Here’s my professional suggestions for what you can do starting TODAY to become more magnetic to your soulmate, so that by this time next year, you’re happily in the arms of your man. Sound good? Let’s get into it.

3. The clock is ticking…. LOUDLY

For many women in their 30’s and 40’s, the biological urge to make babies kicks into high gear… and that LOUD tick-tock that’s happening in the back of your head makes it hard to even hear what your handsome date is saying to you!

Many women are so well-practiced in suppressing it, ignoring it, or imaging that they have “plenty of time” that the clock is like a minimized program-it’s there, eating up resources, draining your energy, but you aren’t even aware it’s there.

So, what to do? Remember that your hormonal clock can make you go overboard with men, so be aware. You don’t want to give off a desperate or needy vibe. Not attractive to a healthy, quality man.

On the other hand, if you ignore biology, keep saying you have “plenty of time” just because you don’t know how to even turn things around, you’ll find yourself at the edge of a cliff and the decision will be made for you. And you’ll live the rest of your life with regret. The regret of “I wish I had gotten serious about this MUCH sooner”.

This is where cultivating your own inner calm and peace and learning to just BE with what IS, is so important. So, let’s say you’re WAY past the age you thought you’d be still single with no family. Take a deep breath and notice that. Then let any regrets from the past go. Stop beating yourself up for the PAST and start focusing on your FUTURE…starting TODAY.

And even if you’re pushing 40 or past it a bit, most women can STILL have babies. Just ask our client Andrea, who had a baby in her early 40s, and my friend Carrie, who had a baby at 46! And adoption can be a marvelous choice if you can open your mind and heart to it. If biologically you’re past the time to have your own child you can become a bonus mom. Many of our clients are enjoying that option (and we’re helping them with everything that comes with that new role)! And when you’re with the right man that’s a wonderful way to have the family you’ve always wanted! There are many ways you can be a parent.

4. Some men are just jerks. Seriously.

Okay, you know that already, right? Yup, thought so. Jerks, liars, cheats, players, manboys, mommas boys. Yes, yes, and yes…they exist. What to do? Read that first sentence again. With a different emphasis.

SOME men are just jerks. SOME. Thankfully, not all. And even if it’s been MOST of the guys you’ve met or gone out with, it’s – factually speaking- just SOME.

Isn’t that a relief? That there are so many men out there, that you haven’t met yet… AMAZING, high quality single men, who are looking for their soulmate -just like you??

We know this because our premium program clients are meeting and marrying amazing men all the time- we get texts, tags on fb, and emails in our inbox every week from clients telling us they’re engaged or married, or in a serious relationship with an incredible guy.

Are MORE men jerky guys in their 30s and 40s? Maybe. Maybe because they haven’t fully grown up yet. Or maybe because they have more options so when a woman doesn’t stand out as different then they’re comparing you to all the other women they are meeting-your age and younger. Life is real, we know that that’s happening. (You DO know that, right?)

So…how do you stand out? Well, you’re taking the first step by reading this and starting to learn about love. The dating, mating, and relationing “game” is different these days. I know it’s not a game -at least it shouldn’t be- but dating is different these days. And if you aren’t fully prepared for what you’re hoping for, wishing for, and praying for…that good guy will go to someone else who IS prepared.

We’ve been helping smart, savvy, warm-hearted women avoid the jerky men and find the right man since 2005, yes thousands of women, and when they celebrate finding true love, we celebrate with them! So don’t take it from us- take it from our now happily married clients, who found amazing men. If they can do it, so can you! Don’t lose hope!

Now…the trick is to get yourself in alignment with the guys that are NOT jerks, but who are honest, hardworking, caring, and searching for their sweetheart, the woman they can build a life with. The amount of quality men looking for a woman to cherish, love, and be loved by -and yes, get married to- are more than many single women fully grasp.

If you want to move past being chronically single, with dim hope, and just frustrated with little to no prospects…then it’s important that you hear me on this:

Being a Student of Love can shift this. A Student of Love is someone who is determined to be a lifelong learner and is open to LEARNING everything she can about love.

And when you meet a jerky guy, or a few, just know that just because you haven’t found your guy yet doesn’t mean he doesn’t exist. He does. And he’s looking for YOU. Have you fallen in love with yourself, with your life, and are you ready for the right man -that good man- to fall in love with you?

Really? Are you inviting him in, or too harshly criticizing ALL men because of the actions of SOME men? Which brings us to…

5. Cynicism can kill a potentially great relationship before it even starts.

And it can make the ups and downs of dating more DOWNS than UPS. So, check your cynicism at the door. Yes, I know you’ve been hurt before. Maybe a lot. I truly am sorry if bad things have happened to you in relationships in the past. But you’re reading this blog for a reason, and you have read this far, so I’m willing to bet there’s a part of you that still holds out hope.

When you’re cynical, snarky, and just angry- and you don’t have the confidence, the hope, the excitement…men can feel it. Good men especially can feel it.

So keep cultivating that feeling of hope and excitement over what the future can become for you. Doing whatever you can to push away cynicism and to embrace an optimistic and positive mindset about looking for love is a win-win scenario: you’ll just FEEL better… and you’ll be WAYYYY more attractive to a healthy, quality man.

Yes, you may have “failed” before in your relationships. But today is a new day, you’re reading this blog, you’re starting to commit more to becoming your best version of yourself by taking on a Growth Mindset about finding love.

This is why we offer our premium program True Love at Last to women just like you… so you can stay IN ACTION toward finding love. When you’re in action toward something, instead of just talking about it or complaining about it, it gives you HOPE because you’re actually DOING something about it!

In order for you to fall in love with yourself, with your life, and the right man for you, you’ll want to do whatever you can to let go of cynical thoughts and keep taking action.

So there you have it. Some of the most common causes of the roller coaster ride that is dating in your 30’s and 40’s.

I hope you got a lot out of this series! Johnny and I are here for you whenever you decide to get expert help on your journey to true love.

To your soulmate success,

Dr. Lara
Holistic Love & Life Mentor // Co-Founder of Feminine Radiance & Courage Institute